Used-to-be SMS Jokes!!
Haha.. someone just got the time to recollect & retype past SMS jokes.. Haha.. I really appreciate that.. Thanks!!
1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me isgetting hard already!
(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife.....panadol !
(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...
(4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!
(5) ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'? : "Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? " : "Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! " : "Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"
(6) SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with" self-service"
(7) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports-illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy and ..
Wife on the cover of "missing persons"
(8) SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented? To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
(9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and askher husband to pay for it.
(10) DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."
(11) VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die, wanted her tombstone to read : BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN. The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "
(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. On their first night both were crying - why??? Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
Repost by
--m^tcH--
1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me isgetting hard already!
(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife.....panadol !
(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...
(4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!
(5) ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'? : "Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? " : "Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! " : "Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"
(6) SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant. Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with" self-service"
(7) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports-illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy and ..
Wife on the cover of "missing persons"
(8) SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented? To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
(9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and askher husband to pay for it.
(10) DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."
(11) VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die, wanted her tombstone to read : BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN. The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "
(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. On their first night both were crying - why??? Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
Repost by
--m^tcH--
dibuat oleh --m^tcH-- @ 5:58 pm
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