Everything seems Wrong..!!

SIGH~~ This month is not a good month for me.. I don't know why but I felt sucks in everything.. everything that I do or everything that I say seem to be irrelevent or meaningless. I felt so stupid in a way, having not compatible enough to others and lack of self-esteem too. I felt that I'm less educated in a way, and by looking into present life, how I wish I could transport my life into everyone's mind, or telepath into their brain nerves and track what exactly they want and what exactly are they thinking now. I really don't wanna hurt people, as whatever I say it doesn't seem pleasant & right..!!! >_<

I'm trying to find out what I'm lack of and even if I've found out what my mistakes are, I do not know how to correct it. Okay, the word Habit or Attitude is an excuse because I know that we were not born with it. This is just how you wanted yourself to act and it also depends on the environment you live in : The Macro and Micro Factors!! (Oh No, why am I talking bout Marketing here? *SWEAT*)

Anyhow, I'm really confuse here.. when I would like to try to understand, things just don't get any better and the worst scenario is I received hinderance and ignorance from people. I don't want this to happen.. I'm very afraid to give them a bad image towards me or losing a friend..

What can I do?
I wish I could be better..
I wish I could be more mature..
I wish I could be.. ME!!

I pray to you Lord that within my living period, you could shower me with happiness and when I am down, send me someone to give me an advise.. a light.. a support.. .. ..

Your Loving Maiden In Need,
--m^tcH--